There’s another world where the air is cigar smoke, the oceans are cognac, and the rain is vermouth. Vision is impossible, taste and feeling are meaningless, and only hearing and sound are valued. It’s a hard world, and every day it tries to break you down to your raw emotional core.
It is the World of Narrators, where the air and oceans season the throat like the wood of a fine instrument, and your authentic core is exposed to give your words feeling and believability.
When citizens of this World come to our own, they host smooth jazz radio shows, talk about sequoia trees and the history of baseball on NPR, and… they narrate stories.
The fine people at the NoSleep podcast have produced a narration of “Making Deals with Devils” for their equally fine podcast. Jessica McEvoy, Atticus Jackson, Erin Lilis, Erika Sanderson, and Jesse Cornett all read a better story than I wrote and that’s the best I can ask for as a writer.
Jessica McEvoy especially deserves credit as she narrated the majority of the story and… listen, I barely have any feelings. I just walk around with a flat mouth and dead eyes. I don’t get upset. I don’t get angry unless someone commits a crime against humanity. When I’m really happy, the most emotive thing I’ll say is “Yeah, that was okay, I guess.” It’s such a problem that every now and again my fiancee will lie to me about having ordered $700 of yoga pants just to try to get me to give some kind of emotional response.
Jessica McEvoy sold this story so well that even I teared up, and I knew everything that was going to happen and was deeply aware that I had imagined it all and yet when I felt my eyes and they were wet. She’s going to be famous one day. Or, I guess since she already kind of is, I will say that one day she will be even more famous! Mark my words!
I’m falling in love with the NoSleep podcast a little more every day, even though I can’t listen that often since I don’t get my sinus surgery for another week or so.
Since my book, The Family of Fang and Claw, is 20% cursed (this means 1 in 5 people who have purchased it so far have met with almost immediate tragedy after doing so, although Amanda’s mom has promised to pray about it so maybe the evil/statistical cluster will end after this) I figured I’d try to balance the Karma of the universe by making all of my other stuff free for five days, starting 10/23/17.
This includes the eBook of Making Deals with Devils.
I’ll insert a bunch of little picture links below.
So, I used to be internet famous before and wrote under the name BC Woods. Stuff happened and I left it behind. I used to write funny stories about my family, but it got to be uncomfortable when I’d meet readers in real life and they’d pretty much know every formative experience I’d ever had. Anyway, I also wrote fiction. Here’s about five or six hundred pages of fiction, most of it set in the same Fantasy World setting. If you liked Making Deals with Devils I’m pretty confident you’ll enjoy these stories as well.
I’m working on an ongoing series of science fiction short stories where Elon Musk and SpaceX succeed and in the mid to late 2030’s mass colonization begins to Mars. This has the first five of those stories. If the idea of a character who is a half Arab, half Jewish and who looks like Abraham Lincoln and spends all of his time committing really polite and thoughtful crimes for the betterment of humanity intrigues you… you might like these stories. They start off a little crass, as I’m still working on the series of stories where they actually get to Mars and build the awesome society. But they’re still super fun.
This is kind of self-indulgent, and a little bit on-the-nose with metaphors, but if you’re in a rough spot and want to read a story about someone confronting their internal darkness through creativity you might like this.
IF YOU ARE OKAY WITH A ONE IN FIVE CHANCE OF BEING CURSED (OR DISMISS STATISTICAL CLUSTERS APPROPRIATELY) AND FEEL UP TO READING SOMETHING REALLY, REALLY CHALLENGING…
… then the Family of Fang and Claw is also available here. $6.66 in eBook form and $16.66 in paperback. Trigger Warning is meant warmly and sincerely.
The way I’m telling people to best gauge if it’s suitable is this: if you’re the kind of person that someone will dare to do something because they like to freak you out, it’s not for you. If you’re the kind of person who would dare the first person to do something because you don’t believe they’re really afraid, then it’s definitely for you.